Okay if any of you are here reading this from my youtube channel and you have been wondering when I would start my videos back up, don't wonder any more! They are coming back at you this monday.
Making YouTube videos had always seemed like such a fun and challenging thing to do. And while I loved making videos every week, it just wasn't possible for my schedule. I dance almost everyday, I go to college and have what seems like endless amount of homework to finish, and I had to go to work everyday. There has just been no time for me to make videos.
So I took a break because when I was watching my video's, I felt like who I was looking at was not really me. It was what I thought people wanted to see and that is just something that I couldn't continue for much longer. I feel like in order to post these video's, even if it is a random video, should show me exactly how I am. It is such a vulnerable thing to do when you post a video that anyone can watch and then hope that people like it. I wasn't focusing a lot on the video's and so I made the decision that I have to take a break to find me and to find that passion to do the video's the right way.
Sometimes even when you love something so much, you have to set it free. Maybe not permanently, but for enough time that you can feel happy and ready to find it again. I loved posting the videos and getting better at editing, but towards the end I just felt drained and stressed out.
Today, I am feeling in such a better place. I always said I would not film until I felt 100% that it was time. Even when my mind would be like just do it, I would never follow through because my heart was not ready yet. But yesterday I filmed a video and I feel like I was completely my self... awkwardness and all.
I guess what I want people to take away from this blog post is to never be afraid to take a step back from what you love. Sure its something thats fun and you feel passionate about it, but sometimes it will take over your happiness and you can feel lost. You will feel like you are a different person. So even though I loved it I had to walk away. And like I said, if you do end up setting something that you love free, you can always go back to that path, just make sure you are in the mindset that you have been trying to get to.
So yes. Get ready for some awkwardness and weird videos. I have the schedule set for every other monday, but if I miss a monday, I miss a monday. Stressing about making the deadline will just put me back at that place I was before and I want more for my channel, the video's, and for myself!
Love you all!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~UPDATES~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Besides the fact that I am starting the channel back up, It's a snow day here in Greeley! WOOO! I am so excited because I got to sleep in until 11! #Goals #winning #IllStopnow
Lately I have been feeling super thankful and just loved. I feel supported and there are so many people that believe in me and so I am feeling like some great blogs, videos and just things in general are to come so be ready.
This Sunday is Easter! He is risen! Woo! The project will be happening that day and I just feel so blessed. I feel like God has been there right with us to carry it in the direction it needs to go. I feel like its going to be for him and just inspire others that day.
That's all for now.
Until next time,
XOXO,
Gossip Girl
Aka... M'lyn
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