"I Wish I Wasn't Ugly!"

This is something that I have seen a lot from people that I hold dear to me heart. There are so many people that go through life feeling like they are not beautiful or even worthy of anyone to love them. They see their friends as more beautiful then they are and they constantly battle with themselves digging apart every inch of how they look.

I know a lot of these people and I use to be one. I use to see my friends as such beautiful people and I felt like I would never amount to that. I thought that I was the D.U.F.F (Sorry... I just love that movie). But what I learned over time is that, there are more people than we know in this world that are battling the same demon. Some are able to get past it, but some unfortunately let their insecurities get in the way of how they handle things. They will be mad towards others or even look for ways to bring someone else down.

Every single person on this earth is beautiful. God created all of us and he sees all of us as wonderful creations. So why can't we see ourselves that way?

I have some friends that are very close to me and it pains me whenever they do not see the beauty of themselves that I see. Everyone has beauty within them and even on the outside of them. We all have self-worth. The things that we see about ourselves as a defect, are seen as the most beautiful feature to others. Insecurities are a hard thing to get rid of. I still have some of mine. But we shouldn't let those define us. When we stress about the insecurities, we start to become a version that we don't real love. We start to put our anger to others and it pushes people away. When I was in high school, I had too many insecurities to count. Did my friends really like me? Was I pretty? Why was I not as good at (fill in the blank) as that person? Things like that. When I started going to college, I started to mature a lot and see my self worth. I answered my questions that I was so worried about. my friends did love me and they did want me in their lives. I was always worried about not being invited to things but now I realize that just because people hang out without me doesn't mean that we are less of friends. I answered the question about being pretty with myself viewing myself in a more positive way. I told myself that to me, I was pretty and it didn't matter what others thought. I may not be the best or #1 at (fill in the blank) but I was getting better everyday and I was at the place that I wanted to be. Not the place or level that others were at. Of course even though I was able to erase some of my insecurities doesn't mean that I was 100% free of being insecure. I will always have something that I don't feel great about, but I am improving every day and looking at life in a more positive viewfinder. I have people that help me and support me and I know that I am worthy of more than I give myself credit for.

To the girls that think they are not beautiful:

You ARE beautiful. Don't ever feel like you have to compare yourself to the people around you. God created you with an image that he loves and he sees you as one of his beautiful creations. I know its hard to look in the mirror and see what I and what many others see, but try to. See yourself in a more positive way and push out the negative thoughts that keep trying to edge in. Let your friends and loved ones in and don't be afraid to ask them for help when you need it. Makeup can be a wonderful thing, but you don't need it like you think you do. 

Okay.. I just wanted to get this out there! You are all beautiful and don't ever forget that! 

UPDATES~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elluminate has not started yet and I have a feeling it won't for a while! But thats okay because there are some projects in the works that will still allow me to see the people in my wonderful dance family. I will update you more when I get more details.. But I am pretty excited! 

I am still dancing with Carissa at her studio here in Greeley and I plan on staying there for a long time! Its just such a wonderful group that inspires me everyday and makes me want to be a better person. We are getting some dances ready so we can make some youtube videos and I am literally too excited for words!!!!!

I am dancing at UNC as well! This semester is just one class: Jazz 2 and I love it. I can't even explain how talented the people are at UNC. Like it blows my mind. Its definitely a challenge for me sometimes to recognize my own talent but I am just so happy that I get to dance along those kind of people. 

I am going to be in a dance show soon at UNC and the dance I am in is by one of my dear close friends that I met at school and I am just so stoked for it. We had our first rehearsal today and it is going to be so powerful and great. I am so happy that I have made such wonderful friends so far that share the same passions as me and who are very genuine! Love you Katelyn! :)

I look for Disney auditions every day and I am pretty sure that in the summer Andrew, Amy and will try to attend one! I am craving it! Its really funny because you would think that the auditions would be scary but its actually super fun and it makes me that more excited to work at Disney! WOO

Thats all for now!

Until Next Time, 

XOXO,

Gossip Girl

AKA.... M'lyn 

Have A Nice Day!

Words are more powerful then we give them credit for. They describe how are we feeling and what we are wanting people to know.

Today I went to the gas station to pick up some things I randomly needed and when I went to check out, the lady was scanning my items and I paid for them. When I started to leave I told her, "Have a nice day" and she looked shocked that I said that. These simple words that should be said to everyone every day.

When I walked out of the station to my car it made me think about how we use our words in today's society. We see that phrase as a simple thing that we don't really need to say to people because it doesn't feel like it means anything. But actually it can be the simple thing that changes how someones day is going. I feel like in todays world, we all have become consumed by what technology we have and what the latest update is that we have forgotten how to be kind to one another.

My parents told me that when they were around my age, people that were in the neighborhood would wave at each other and they would actually know each other. Now, we don't feel like that needs to be a part of our lives.

I don't know about you but I want to bring that happiness and joy back into my life. Saying that simple phrase does not only make the other person have a better day, it does the same to you as well. You are happy that you were able to give someone else a good story to bring home to their family. There are other ways as well to make someones day even if its just a complement or a simple hi. The word Hi has become something that we are afraid to say to people at times. In college, I always look around and see how a lot of people are looking at their phones and they are not talking to the people that are around them. We can make lasting relationships in college if we choose to. It just requires us to say that simple word..... Hi.


I just wanted to share this with you and to get you all thinking!
Have a nice day! :)


Until next time,
XOXO,
Gossip Girl

AKA..... M'lyn

Finding Your Self-Confidence.

Okay guys so I am going to get super real with you guys. Confidence and I have a tricky relationship. I have moments where I feel like I am on cloud 9 and I feel like I am doing really well and feeling confident as ever. Then other times I feel like I am in a deeper hole where I can't find a way to get out.... Okay thats a dramatic way to put it but basically I feel sometimes like I am empty of the confidence that was there at times.

I have had many opportunities and support to make me a confident person, but there is something that inside of me that keeps fighting it away.

Tonight I was at dance and we were going over technique in the Jazz class I am in. I would like to say that I believe I was having confidence flowing through me but it wouldn't be exactly true. I for sure feel more confident when I am dancing hip hop or close to that but when it comes to the things I am not use to like in tonights case Jazz or ballet type stuff, I feel less confident. Through the years I have tried to perfect a look that would show others that I was 100% confident and even happy with what I am doing. But it becomes faded sometimes. My dance teacher Carissa really helped me tonight just by her simple words that she said. She told me that she wants me to be confident and see that I am good because I am. I am very much a word person. I love quotes, sayings and just anything that is inspiring using words. So when Carissa told me that, it changed me. Maybe not to where I will be confident all the time, but it is going to help me see myself in a better light. It will make me try to view myself in a more positive and confident way so that I am not always down grading myself to where I get into that darker place. So if you are reading this Carissa, thank you so much. Your words mean more than you think. :)

So now lets talk about the people that are feeling kind of the same as me. Confidence is a wonderful thing. It makes us feel good and it makes us see ourselves better. But even though its this wonderful thing that we want, it is probably one of the hardest things for us to find and keep. We all want to be able to be good at something, and when we find it its a wonderful feeling, but sometimes we loose our way and start to loose why we began that in the first way.

I want us all to be able to not go on that path. I want this year for more people, myself included, to look at ourselves as a beautiful human being. Someone that deserves to go after what we want and to feel good about it. If you want something, don't just give up because you think you are bad. You never know what will happen until you try. We all can get that confidence that we deserve and we can find a way to keep it.

I am so thankful for everyone that is in my life. I am filled with joy to have so many people around me that want the best for me. When I was younger, if you tried to tell me that this is what my life would be like I would not believe you in any way. God works in crazy ways and I am so thankful for all he has done for me. I have everyone in Elluminate that makes me so happy to see and be around. I have my new dance group at the studio I go to and I can't even believe that I get to hang out with such amazingly talented people who are also the most kind hearted. I have a wonderful family that stays by my side throughout the times where I didn't even know I needed them. I have the best friends in the world that make life so much more fulfilling. Gosh life is great and I am excited to work on my confidence and to make life even better.

Thanks for reading!

I have a lot of blog posts planned coming up! I have been getting so many ideas of posts that will impact people in many different ways and I am so excited to get them going! This one just felt like tonight would be the best time to do it! I hope you enjoyed this and I hope it inspired you to get you on the path to confidence and a better life.

Until next time,
XOXO,
Gossip Girl

AKA.... M'lyn

Saint Anything.

Okay guys. So I just finished a 415 page book called Saint Anything in 2 days.
Why? Because it was literal perfection.

This book has so many elements of real life situations and struggles and it changed the way I look at things.

The story follows a high school girl named Sydney who has always felt like she was invisible to the world and the everyone. She has a brother named Peyton who is the star pupal of the family. Except he is anything from perfect. He does something that makes him face court and then he is put in jail. Sydney's family is left with so many questions and they feel utterly vulnerable. 

Sydney decides to make a change and leaves her private school for the local public school. She wants to finally be in a spot where no one knows her story and they won't stare at her every second. She meets the Chatham family and starts to become friends with all of them. Layla is her best friend who has a special bond with Sydney where they tell each other everything and they are there for each other. Rosie, Layla's sister, is an aspiring Figure Skater and puts a lot of pressure on herself. Mrs. Chatham is someone who is warm and very welcoming to Sydney. And Mac. Mac is the boy who makes Sydney feel finally seen and he changes her life in more ways than one. The whole family does. 

With this story line, it has elements of tragedy, some comical moments and love. But, the book has some hidden lessons while reading it that can make your spine tingle when you figure it out. 

When I read it, I was at first just thinking I would be reading a love story like I always am drawn to and that would be it. But it was so much more. It showed what true friendship is and how you can meet someone and they change your life. They are always there for you even in the hardest of times. Sydney and Layla were always helping each other in the moments that they needed it most and it made me really think about what kind of friend I am. I want to be the person who is there for my friends even when they say the don't need me. I want to be their shoulder to cry on if they feel like its necessary. I want to be the person that my friends can tell everything to. 

The book also had an element of not judging a book by its cover.... well people by their covers. The Chatham family was so new to Sydney's life and it made her mother not trust them. These were people that made Sydney so happy, but her mother did not like it. Throughout the book you want to just scream at Sydney's mother and make her see that Sydney is better where she is. That she is not her brother. This is something that a lot of us go through. The harsh pressure from our parents. It comes from a good place but everyone has their breaking point. 

With the tragedy that happens in the book, it makes you also realize that you don't know what is happening behind closed doors. It was an interesting angle because the story and the outcome of the event was shown from the enablers side/family instead of the victims point of view. We are quick to get upset with the person who started it, but we don't see that they are struggling to. Sydney struggled with it a lot and she didn't even do anything. We dismiss how others are feeling and we sympathize with the person that is the victim. While that is perfectly fine with being on the victims side, sometimes (in this case of the story) we have to see how the other side is doing. 

And a big part of the book is the idea of trust and also having a saint that helps us in our darkest moments. There was a reoccurring theme of having different saints that focus on one thing. Mac has a pendant that is from his mother and he gives Sydney one that is unknown so they call it the Saint of anything. She seems comfort in it and feels like it is there when she needs it most. This is something we can find in people. We meet people and they leave a mark on us before we even know it. Mrs. Chatham was like Sydneys saint in a way. She confided in her and Mrs. Chatham gave the best advice that anyone could ever say. I even was blown away by it. Its important for us to find that person that is our saving grace. Our person that will always listen and always help. The theme of trust was all throughout the book. Sydney's parents wanted her to trust them and she wanted that from them as well. Its easy to take advantage of someones trust but just because it leaves does not mean we can't get it back.

Sorry for ranting but I think this is a book that many people need to read. Sydney is finding herself throughout it and you end up doing the same for yourself when you finish it. 

Thanks for listening....

Until Next Time,

XOXO,

Gossip Girl

Aka..... M'lyn 

How to Make a Boring Day Fun!

Netflix......










HAHA! I had to. You all know how much I love Netflix so that will always be my suggestion!
Anyways! Lets get down to business... (To defeat the huns) hahah! I also had to do that.
Since I have been on break for a while I feel like I have had to find many ways to make my day more fulfilling. We all have these days where life just seems to be at a standstill.

WELL I CAN HELP! Sorry for screaming and shouting. (I had to let it all out) (Its from the Brittany Spears song)
Wow I am on a roll right now!

Here are some ways for you to have a better day than you did before! Also these are ways so that you don't have to spend a lot of money! Save money my friends!

1. Go on a walk. Yes. Even with snow, I find time to walk! It gives you a lot of time to think about the greater things. 
2. Watch a new movie. Netflix has a lot of good movies and I can give you a bunch of suggestions. Its my favorite thing to find new shows and movies. I should just be sponsored by Netflix because its my life. 
3. Make a blog. Believe it or not, this blog and my other ones that I have were made in a time of boredom and wanting something more to my life. It lets you inspire others and I try to write about only positive things so that people can be more positive! I just love positivity!
4. Read a book! I basically never have time to read a normal book because of college so I have definitely been using my time to do so. 
5. Have a dance party! This one is not for everyone but for me I would have a grand time blasting music and coming up with a new dance! 
6. Redecorate your room! I actually do this a lot because I get bored of things fast. Mainly my room so I am always making new inspirational posters and just cute things for my wall! 
7. Bake! I love eating sweets and baking them can be just as fun! Especially when you have some siblings or sisters to do so with! 
8. Go to a dance class! I have been going to one in Greeley and it has been wonderful! I love learning new things and meeting some wonderful people! Also you can be in cool performances like how we are going to be in Day of Dance! 
9. Play some video games! Lately I have really enjoyed playing the lego video games! haha! I have no idea why but it has been really entertaining! 
10. Film some videos! This is one that is not for everyone but if you have a youtube channel like me, than this is something that helps make the day better! 

Okay. So I obviously realize that these are not for everyone! These are just some options that I have found for myself! I just wanted to make a fun little blog post! Basically proving my #3 on the list! :) 

Thanks for reading. Make life beautiful! 

Until Next Time,

XOXO,

Gossip Girl

Aka.... M'lyn 

I Know Who I Am.

Wow! 2016 has already been super eventful. I have continued my dancing of course with some wonderful people that make me smile constantly and I have had a lot of time to think about the greater things in life. Already! I know! As I am getting older, I am finding better ways to find the strength and courage to only see the positive in life. Which is something that can be very hard at times. We all face obstacles that are trying to pull us down to darker levels. Obstacles that don't have the best intentions at all, but I know who I am and what life is best for me and so the negative things don't really matter to me. God has been the #1 reason I have been able to do this.

I wish I could say that life becomes easier and simple as you get older, but I would be lying. Life will always be a challenge and it will always put you into situations that you didn't think you would be able to survive in. Even though life is hard, its up to you to create the happy moments and to find how to make it the life you have always imagined. The struggles and the hard times that we face are made to help us learn and to grow. It makes us find who we are based on how we handle it.

So I was watching Netflix (As always) and I am watching this show called "When
calls the Heart" and it has really hit home for me. There are people that struggle way more than myself and others ever have. But something that keeps them going is, they know who they are. They know that they have people around them to help make the days better.

Its important to never loose sight of who we are as people. Its important to hold onto the people that make the days better. Its important to find the positive in a life where negative obstacles will always fight its way in. Its important to get inspired to be our better versions that God has always wanted us to be.

I know who I am. I know what I want in life. I know who I want to be there with me through everything.

We all can find who we are if we just simply look.
Don't ignore the people that are inviting you to be a part of their lives because they will be inspiring and you will want them to be in your life as well.

Find something that you love and hold onto it tightly. When you find that special thing, nothing should be in your way or change your mind about it.

Look at things in life with a more positive eye. If you want to see the positive things, you must be ready to see them with an open mind and heart. We can't see the positive if all we look for is the negative.

Live the life that you have always wanted, not the life that others expect. Your ideas and beliefs for what you want can change and its not a bad thing. You are always changing and with that your goals and dreams will change with it.

Life can be beautiful, but it will only be that way if you let it be. If you surround yourself with wonderful support, it will make life beautiful. If you put yourself in positive situations, life will be beautiful. If you stay true to who you are..... Life will be beautiful.

I don't know about you, but I want a life that is beautiful and a life that I am proud of.

Go inspire others.

Until Next Time,
XOXO,
Gossip Girl

Aka..... M'lyn

Try Something With Me Right Now

Okay guys. Its officially 2016 and I want you all to try something with me.
Resolutions are something that we all are aware of and we all partake in this time of the year. I am all for them and I think they are really good for us because they challenge us to make change.

But Resolutions can easily be misconstrued and they can be something that we can easily not accomplish. I was watching a video from Jonah Green on YouTube and it really hit home for me.

Every year we make this list of resolutions that we promise to everyone that we can fulfill and then they are later seen as just a fabricated idea we thought sounded good at the time. Jonah stated that instead of making resolutions, he was going to make goals. Because goals can only be achieved by plans and resolutions are just words that we put on a piece of paper.

When we hear that something is a goal, we become more dedicated and we push ourselves to achieve that because its much more fulfilling to achieve our goals that we have set ourselves than to finally cross off a resolution.

"Anyone can write a two-page paper of all the things they want, but if there are no plans behind it, the goals go from meaningful to that 2012 Kony campaign that didn't help anyone." -Jonah

"By just making a list and only stating the things that you want, thats like subconsciously telling yourself that your work here is done." -Jonah

Things will not just magically happen just because you put them on your end of the year list.

"Your brain doesn't want you to change. When someone can do something kind of cool, we treat them like they are something special. As if either of us couldn't do the exact thing if we just buckled down and tried. Its a fact that if you practice at something long enough, you can get at least kind of good at it." -Jonah

Jonah makes a challenge that instead of stating what you want, you should make a plan.

You want to get in shape... 

Make your resolution that you are going to go to the gym 3 times a week.

Want to get better in school...... 

Make your resolution that you are going to spend 30 minutes studying each day.

Want to become a better person... 

Make your resolution that you are going to spend your time and talents helping others at least twice a week. And that you will make 'me time' because often people loose themselves in all that life brings them.

You want to get closer to God..... 

Make your resolution that you will set out to have 35 minutes of deep bible study and to pray and read the bible.


Its so easy for us to make these wonderful lists and make them sound like the real deal, but actually do something. Don't just list it and defend yourself of why you put it there. Have a list of an actual plan that will show how you will change. It makes you more liable to actually do it.

I am definitely a victim of the list that just states what I want but after watching his video, I want to challenge myself and really make it a more true thing.

So for 2016 

1) I am going to pray, read, study, and live for God. I will spend 30 minutes 3 times a week and really dig deep into what the Lord has written for me. God is someone that is always there and I am going to make sure I spend time getting to know him more and more.

2) I am going to listen to people. Every time someone is talking to me I am going to ask them more questions than they ask me. Its always easy to talk about myself, but in order to build a more deeper connection, I am going to ask them 2 more questions than they ask me.

3) I am going to spend time forgiving others and myself for what happens each day. I can't help how people react to things and I can't make everyone like me. I am going to spend each night for 10 minutes really thinking about what happened during the day and use that time to forgive the people and myself. You are a wonderful person and you are not perfect. When something bad happens, it is not your job to pick the pieces up and try to explain what happened. Tell yourself that you did all you could and leave it at that.

4) Like Jada Pinkett Smith says in her video about being a good mother, I am going to find how I can make myself happy before worrying about making other people happy. There will always be people that need to find their happiness from the people around them and I have been one of them too many times. Its too easy to expect friends and the people in my life to give me happiness and then blame them when its not there but true happiness has to come from within. It will make me a better person and it will have others see me for who I am and they will want the same. I am going to spend each weekend doing something that I love. Dancing is always fun but I am going to find new things that will bring me happiness. How can I expect others to be happy and love me for me when I haven't found it myself.

5) I am going to branch out from my comfort zone. I am going to fight for what I want. I have spent too many years hiding and just accepting whatever happened around me and now I am going to take back my life and make things happen. I can't stay innocent and I can't please everyone. I am going to focus on myself and find out what I want in my life to happen. I am going to join clubs and go to the auditions that scare me. I already did that in 2015 because I was worried I wasn't good enough. I am going to stick to my confidence that I have and believe in myself. Any audition that comes up and I am thinking a little about it, I am going to 100% go and not think. You only regret the chances you didn't take.

6) And like Jonah stated, one of my resolutions/goals is that I am going to try. Because none of these things will happen unless I try. I am going to try at everything that I do. The new dance I learn, I will spend less time judging myself and more time trying to make it better. The new classes I am in, I will put my whole effort into them and I will not just give up. I can do better and I am going to try. The relationships that seem like they are drifting, I am going to try to fix them and try to keep them there, because if I just give up than I would be taking the easy road. I have been pretty good in that aspect because I am still friends with my high school friends and it has been so hard to keep in touch and to keep that tie to everyone. But I put everything into it and thats why it works because I have tried and I have never given up. I will give people 10 chances if I have to because everything is worth fighting for. Never give up because you thought the outcome would not be in your favor.... The odds will always be in your favor... :)

Spend more time actually thinking about what you want to accomplish. Make them a priority and plan it into your life, because if you don't actually see it as part of your routine everyday than nothing will change. We can all say we want to loose weight but if we actually put it into our daily lives, we will see results.

Find your goals and stick with them, don't just make resolutions and then stash them away for the year.

Challenge yourself and we can do this together.

Thanks
Until Next Time,
XOXO,
Gossip Girl,

Aka... M'lyn