A life that is better than the picture.

Hi everyone! Long time no see! haha! 

Well I have been super busy recently with dead week and finals. Nothing like the full college experience to make me want to sleep all day. Right now is a Friday night, 10:04 pm and all I want to do is write. Write my thoughts. Let my fingers type everything I am thinking. I don't know if its because of dead week or if I am just feeling inspired, but just go with it. 

When I was younger, I strived for happiness. I would never stop smiling and I would always want to be friends with everyone I met. I was definitely an innocent little one that believed there was nothing but good in the world. But hey... thats most of us at that age. I didn't have to worry about what I wanted to do with my life because I was just starting to live it and learn everyday. The biggest thing I had to remember to do was go to bed at my bedtime. Life is pretty simple when you are at that age. You don't have to worry about the bigger things that adults have to worry about. You can live your life and just have fun. 

When I went to middle school I was looking for a new beginning; a fresh start. I wanted to find what I wanted in this world. I wanted to see what life could be like when I found myself. Throughout that thinking, I was still looking for that happiness that I longed for. I was making friends and becoming my own person. I started to join volleyball and theatre in an attempt to find just where my spot was in this crazy world. Volleyball was something that really challenged me, but even though I was super outgoing, it would tear me down and make me scared that I was not good enough. I would stress over missing the ball and loosing a point for my team. So while I found it to be exhilarating, I was just not ready for the competitive side of it all.... and maybe I will never be ready for that. Theatre was a little bit closer to feeling like home. I was never the person that wanted to get the big lead roles, but I definitely wanted to be a part of it. I was always super silly and loved to talk and the theatre people were my kind of people. All of us were a little out of the box compared to others and we had a sense of humor that some may not understand. I was in a couple plays and I enjoyed being able to be on the stage, but I still ended up not feeling like that was the right fit for me. 

When I got into high school, I joined a dance group called Elluminate. Someone at my school had referred me to it and I went the 2nd week that it was started. When I went to my first day of dancing with the group, I was super nervous because even though a lot of them were from my school, I was worried that this would be a repeat of me not finding what I have been looking for. I kept going after that and as it went on I knew that it was something that was going to be a positive impact on my life. The people there were so welcoming and there was no pressure of having to be better than the person next to you. I had danced before and LOVED it but I had taken a break for a while and I definitely feel like God placed this group of people in my life for a reason. 

Now in college, I have been pursuing my love for dance by training in a bunch of different styles and I am feeling more happy than ever. The classes are crazy challenging and I sometimes doubt myself but I can feel myself becoming stronger and becoming a better dancer. I joined a dance group in Greeley and this was another example of God bringing something positive and new in my life for me. When I first joined I was worried about fitting in, but literally the first day, I was so welcomed into the group and they are all my best friends. I am still in Elluminate even though we are on a break and from time to time a few of us meet up and make up dances for events or the fun of it. 

I think God knew where I would find my happiness, but he just wanted me to experience some other things before I found the biggest thing that would affect my life. Happiness has always been there for me, it has just been in different forms than before. It was different but it was still pure happiness. God is pretty great. 

So I know that this was a ramble post but I just wanted to tap about how I found my better life. Where is yours? 

UPDATES

Spring semester is almost over! agh! I am so happy about that! I will be taking classes in the summer but its okay because summer is always better! haha! 

I am going on vacation to California in the summer and it is always fun for that! Disney here I come!

I am going to be choreographing a dance with someone next week and I am super excited!

Thats all for now. 

Until Next Time, 

XOXO,

Gossip Girl

AKA..... M'lyn